Is the internet back yet ?

The internet came back half an hour after I left for the office but the water was gone by the time I got home again. Got a few hours kip, woke up this "morning" and my wife was gone. Got a slice of toast, the peanut butter was gone. Tried asking you but I don't think you were reddi yet.

But I keep coming back to the same old questions:

When you get right down to it, what've you got, right, down, up a bit, more, There, aaaah, ... ?
Why do my socks have big holes when I always compost them at the first tear ?
Why has my retirement-fund halved the fees today, if banks are in such shit ?
Why does the screen always go black at the start of writing a new program ?
Why am I so much better at sorting this list than most algorithms I know ?
   Wow ! That line was typed in at the best guess place, before I knew ...
How many visitors do you need to see what's going on outside the prison ?
Which of these questions will you take as the subject line of an email ?
Who is converging on The Palace of Culture, panting and slobbering ?
How do you design a brain when all you've got control of is genes ?
How many Ministers for Energy does it take to change a light bulb ?
Why is Natural Language mischaracterized as inherently ambiguous ?
How can you expect to be taken seriously (Extended Danse Mix) ?
Why do men need nipples, is it some kind of memento matris ?
When you get down to the wood today, what will you saw ?
Why is petrol back down to less than 1 euro per litre ?
How many Big Macs does it take to sink an empire ?
How does it work when you program in English ?
How can one live well in a badly-run world ?
When do the floor-cleaning robots arrive ?
Whatever will become of the likely lads ?
How many angels can be fit into a PIN ?
Where have all the children gone ?
Which are the magical languages ?
What were we wanting without W ?
Who would you like to beat (up) ? 
Does my thumb look big in text ?
Who are you talking to, inside ?
How much do you miss the goal ?
Sorry, what were you saying ?
What do you do, in the bath ? 
But I'm mumbling again't I ?
How much do I stink by now ?
Why do crocodiles crawl ?
How to get rich, slowly ?
What was I looking for ?
Have a dream on me !
Onde está o Oisín ?
Where's the craic ?
You want it when ?
Why am I here ?
Why coo ?
WTF ?